Real Fake Housewives

I love the Real Housewives of New York, it’s my guilty pleasure. What is it that’s so entertaining about botoxed socialites who have never ending drama? With the most lavish parties, jaw dropping shopping sprees, and cosmetically enhanced beauty, these women paint a vivid picture of the upper echelons of our society.

In a recap episode the host posed a good question: do you feel guilty for extravagant spending while so many people are going through hardships? The answer is a definitive “no,” and for good reason. Shopping supports business, their charities raise money for causes, and every one of their mega splurges equals a small step toward recovery for our economy.

A surprisingly smart answer. I don’t want to insinuate stupidity, but lets be honest—none of these ladies earned their riches by brain-power. I can’t imagine, for example, sharing a dinner table with Alex McCord. Even with her supposed experience in graphic design I predict we’d be hard pressed to have intelligent conversation. The gap is too large—I don’t know the labels, have enough money, or socialize with the right people. And she—well, to be perfectly honest I don’t believe she’s really a designer. I have no proof. I shouldn’t make assumptions. But I can’t help myself. I’m unfairly calling this “real” housewife a fake.

The truth is, I question the business authenticity of several of the housewives. It’s easy to proclaim success when you have enough bucks to throw at something. Pay other people to concoct formulas and market the products, and you too can have your very own skin care line. Want to be a jewelry designer? Have someone else create the designs and put your name on it.

Ramona with her skin care products and Kelly Bensimon with her jewelry aren’t bona fide businesswomen by most people’s definition. They don’t understand the behind-the-scenes hard work that “real” business men and women put into getting things done. To them, being CEO of a business endeavor is like any other shopping spree—it’s just a matter of paying for expertise rather than new shoes. And that’s perfectly fine, because all they really want may be their name on the packaging. Different goals, different measures of success.

It’s when they toe the line of proclaiming expertise that I cringe. I’m happy to watch the Real Housewives socialize and shop, but don’t pretend to know my business. Specifically, they’ve been talking about branding. It’s a hot new-ish word for a long established concept, and this season I heard it more than a few times. It seems like everyone wants to be a branding expert these days, and the housewives have proven to be no exception.

It’s the casualness and ease in which the “b” word is happily tossed around that bugs me. I just don’t want America thinking that’s all there is to it. When you come back down to the real world where most of us operate there’s a whole lot more substance to the concept of branding. It requires more investigation than flippant snipes and arguments about whos logo goes where.

My favorite housewife is Bethenny. Even with her red-hot temper and crybaby pleas for a boyfriend, I still think she’d be really fun to hang out with. And she knows a thing or two about business—she’s the only one who’s accomplished purely of her own accord. I can see what she’s really doing under that socialite mask. She’s networking—and selling the Skinnygirl brand to her entire TV audience. That’s a smart businesswoman.

However in my book, Bethenny made a giant mistake. She called in a favor to fellow Real Housewife/fake designer Alex McCord to create her personal logo. To the TV audience she affirmed what they’ve suspected all along—that logo design should be a free service and just about anyone can do it.

I’d never be able (or want) to fit into their world. I just ask that if the Real Housewives are going to be talking branding and making logos—my world—they don’t make it look like a casual afterthought. I’d rather they stick to what they know—spending money—and hire a real expert when it comes to art and business.